Saturday, December 5, 2020

2020 Holiday Letter

YOU GUYS! 2020 IS ALMOST OVER!!!

Between catastrophic wildfires around the globe, the social unrest and revolution that is occurring here in the US, the worldwide pandemic, economic hits, and the most important presidential election in my lifetime, 2020 was one for the history books.

As in, what we endured, how we responded, what happened afterwards... All of this will be in history books. We’re surviving historic times… Yay?

Join me as I distract you from the world for a few minutes and tell you about my year.

In early 2020, I left the City of Glendale - my work home for 5 (!!!!) years - to join the City of Tempe. I described this new role as "leveling up" in my career and in my professionalism. As a result, I have far fewer hilarious work stories since I now have to be a real professional and model the behavior I expect of my coworkers. I have to act like a grown up at work all the time now (not just most of the time like earlier in my career). It’s exhausting! Kidding. Sort of.

At this moment in time, I’m doing double duty (two jobs, one Amanda) because of a key vacancy in the Division I get to lead - which left me hamstrung very early in my time in the new job. I have been doing double duty since this spring. Frankly it’s exhausting, but I’m doing what I love, so it’s rewarding.

I’m still living in Moon Valley, in North Phoenix and, to be honest, the desire to move does not live anywhere in my soul at this time. At all. I’m commuting, which takes about as much time as my previous commute to the West Valley, and will continue to do so for the immediate future.

As I leveled up, got hamstrung, and started doing double duty, the world got very scary – and sick.

COVID-19 is very scary. Like, literally, the scariest thing we’ve ever lived through. And we’re still living with it. I’m not going to devote too much to the subject because it’s very upsetting for some – and I am not interested in debating with those who feel differently than me. I will simply say: I’m safe, my loved ones are safe, and I continue to hold space in my heart for those we knew who lost their lives. I pray COVID-19 is eradicated soon and that no more lives are lost to this very scary, very real threat.

And since I have your attention, allow me to get on my soapbox about the Essential Employees who I hold of the highest esteem: public works employees.

Employees in public works support our critical infrastructure; they ensure health and safety of the community, and they show up everyday. Rain or shine. In sickness and in health.

I have always been impressed beyond belief to witness the dedication public works employees devote to the communities they serve in everyday normal circumstances. The fact that during an unprecedented global epidemic we all had safe and reliable drinking water, continuous energy, solid waste & sanitation services, streets that were lit by streetlights every evening, and countless other things that we all don't conscious think of shows the dedication public works employees have to those they serve.

If any one of those things I listed above had failed, it would have compounded the stress people are already under. And they didn't fail. So, take a moment and think about the invisible heroes who make sure your community continues to be a source of reliability and comfort, and hold space in your heart for them and their continued health and safety.

(Steps off Soapbox)

Last year I wrote about a relationship. Yeah, well, that didn’t work out. (And yes I totally went back and deleted all references to that relationship from last year's letter!!!)

Forgive me if I don’t sound too broken up (heh) over it. My mourning of that relationship has long ended. I acknowledge we were mismatched from the start.

I will also acknowledge to those who said it: you were right.

The yous I’m talking to know who they are and what they were right about. Beyond that, that particular relationship is not worth talking about.

What is worth talking about is what I walked away with as a result of that relationship! I walked away with so much knowledge about myself and what I deserve in a relationship. I learned to embrace my self-worth and demand nothing less than the best for me. Insert cliché about having to learn to love yourself before you can receive the love you deserve being true. More on that later.

I’ve always been a crafter. I love making beautiful things with my hands. I also love making not beautiful things with my hands. If I’m using my hands to attempt to make something pretty, I am happy. I may not be happy with the results, but the act is what makes me happy. When I was newly single during the quarantine, I realized I needed to do something to occupy the excess time I had to myself. As a crafter, this was my time to shine. And by time to shine, I mean time to work off my excess anxiety.

This spring I took up acrylic landscape painting. Turns out I do not suck entirely at painting landscapes. It also turns out I do most definitely suck at painting anything other than flora and fauna. I've even set up another Instagram account to show all my crafty stuff. More pics are there.

In my welcome to middle-aged gift basket from mother nature, I found that my ankles hate me. They BOTH require surgery (arthroscopic cleaning of scar tissue and resurfacing of the talus through micro fracturing). Despite breaking the right one a couple of years ago, the left one is in worse shape. Early next year I’ll be rolling with my trusty knee scooter once again for a couple months as I heal from my first of two surgeries. I will heal from that surgery and then early the following year I am penciled in for the other ankle. You can imagine what this is doing for my back. Chronic pain can kiss my luscious booty.

Speaking of middle-aged! Just like everybody else who is living, I had a birthday this year. This was a milestone birthday year for me. In my world, birthdays are always marked with something significant (a tattoo on my 18th birthday which Mom and Dad loved [spoiler alert: no they didn’t], a new car for my 28th birthday that was paid off on my 33rd, countless trips to Washington and California for birthdays, etc.). This milestone birthday was going to be treated the same way.

My original plan for my 40th birthday was to take myself to Australia. I was going to do all the touristy stuff and make my way to as many places around that continent as possible (Sydney, the Gold Coast, Byron Bay, etc.). In January of this year, Australia suffered horrific fires over so much of their country. Knowing their country would be healing and recovering from the fires, I decided to put Australia back on the bucket list and go to Ireland and the UK to go see where my ancestors are from.

And then the world got sick.

I stopped planning on leaving the country once the pandemic hit, and instead turned my attention to coming up with an absolutely epic way to mark my 40th birthday.

And epic it was.

I decided to treat myself to a professional photo shoot to celebrate me. I had seen Karianne Munstead’s work on Instagram several years ago and I started following her then. Her photos were not just beautiful; everything that Karianne does is to make someone feel beautiful in the skin they’re in. Her photos are authentic and really allow the subject’s personality shine through. She was literally my only choice for the photo shoot. I told Karianne if I walked away with one picture that showed parts of my personality (powerful, sexy, hilarious), then I would be happy. Turns out there were about 100+ of those kinds of pictures! I walked away with 15+ pictures in total!

In regards to the picture, I had a very specific picture in mind, and Karianne was able to make that happen. Feast your eyes on the perfect picture for my 40th birthday in 2020.

I know. You’re impressed. You’re speechless. You’re laughing. Even if you’ve already seen it. Because you know that is sooooooooooooooooo… me.

I thought I would post many of the other pictures from the shoot to show people on my personal Instagram, but I’ve been savoring them and sharing them with only a handful of people live in person. Not for any reason other than they’re so special and I want to keep them to myself for now. But! I did promise someone I would post one a pictures here exclusively - only for my readers and random internet people! So here you go.

Seriously, though. Could this picture be any better? No. No it could not.

You remember when I said there would be more later on the love yourself before you can receive the love you deserve being true cliché? It’s now later.

Last year when I turned 39, I didn’t like where I was in my life. I said then I had 365 days until I was 40, which meant I had 365 days to transform my life. I can safely admit that my 39th year on Earth was the year I experienced the most amount of personal (and professional) growth. From the general craziness of 2020 to the ending of an unhealthy, unequal relationship in the spring, and the very conscious effort I made to change my life through actually doing the work, my life is definitely transformed for the better. I have leveled up in my career. I know and feel every ounce of my self-worth. I am mindful of what I can and cannot control. I decide who and what gets my emotional energy. And I’m in an actually healthy relationship. Go back and re-read that last sentence, because it’s awesome.

Of course, it would take a worldwide pandemic where people are getting sick simply by being around other people for me to find my sweet spot in the world of online dating. Having virtual first dates is exactly what I didn’t know was missing from my dating life!! Granted I was only able to go on a couple of virtual first dates (like literally two) before I started having second, third, fourth, etc. dates with someone in particular.

I’ve lost count of dates we’ve had so far, but our dates have gone from virtual, to sweat-soaked brunches outside in the August heat (in the middle of a desert) with masks on before the food came, to us being in a healthy committed relationship.

Speaking of commitment, I’m committed to sharing less of my relationship with others (another handy tidbit I learned from my previous relationship), so I will just leave it at I am very happy in this relationship and I look forward to continuing to enjoy our time together.

So. About the elections.

Y’all knew I was going to bring it up. And y'all knew who I was voting for before I even brought it up. But with that said, I’m undeniably happy that my chosen candidate was elected. I really truly honestly hope that the next 8 years of the Biden-Harris administration will bring peace and reunification of our country. There is a lot of hatred and hurts that came to a boil over the last four years and it will take time to heal. I think if we all remain level-headed, use critical thinking skills, and give respect to our fellow humans and to our Earth, our country and the world can be better than we’ve been.

So with that said, I wish you all a peaceful rest of 2020, and a wonderful 2021.

Much love to most of you!

XOXOXXX,

Amanda

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

2019 Holiday Letter

Hi-de-ho, friends, family, and people who follow(ed) me on social media and clicked the link!

Happy end of 2019 to you and yours! There's a lot to unpack, so let's get started!

Pretty much right after I posted last year’s letter, I met someone. We ended up seeing each other for a few months, and while he was a perfectly lovely man, things did not work out. I can’t say I was heartbroken by the end of our time together. It wasn’t traumatic or dramatic. It just ended and that’s fine. Actually, better than fine, much better than fine, but I’m getting ahead of myself...

Other than that relationship ending, the spring was relatively uneventful until I took two trips in April. The first was to Florida. The second trip was to... the emergency room.

The first trip was awesome! I was honored to be asked to be a speaker at a conference for work. The subject I spoke on is one that I’m annoyingly motivated about - but when I tell people about it their eyes tend to glaze over. Instead I will just link you to this video and you can watch it if you are so inclined.

I’m so proud of this program and so supportive of what we’re trying to achieve together, so needless to say I was delighted to speak on it. The conference was held in Tampa, Florida, a place I had never been nor imagined I’d go to on purpose. I didn’t see a lot of it, but I did get a nice tour of the University of South Florida campus, and had a fancy drink at a trendy bar. And I took a great selfie.

I make no secret that I go bananas for all things Mickey Mouse and Harry Potter. Despite living next door to a state that houses their own version of each, but my happy places are in Orlando. So OBVIOUSLY I had to take a 90 minute drive north and worship at the House of Mouse and Hogwarts for a few days.

The last time I was in Orlando, I got super sick at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and didn’t get to experience it as fully as I had hoped. So that was my first stop. OH MAH GAWSH! It was so much better than the last time I was there because I wasn’t sick! That’s place is ... wait for it... magical. It’s so well done and it really is like stepping into a different world. I get so much joy from these stories so to go spend a day in that world was so fun.

And then because my inner child wasn’t getting spoiled enough, I decided to treat her to a trip to Disney World. As much fun as the Magic Kingdom was, there were so.many.people that I decided to spend some time over at Hollywood Studios. Of course, Magic Kingdom is my favorite Disney park, but my love of movies - and The Muppets - made Hollywood Studios a wonderful place to visit. And there were far fewer (unhappy screaming) humans.

I got back to Phoenix on a Sunday and the following Friday I had off and went to visit a friend for happy hour. Please note I had exactly one half of a can of cider and it had exactly no impact on the next part of the story. After a lovely visit with my friend, I looked up and saw a tow truck. Since the spot I parked in was questionable, I automatically assumed they were there to tow my car. So, I told my friend I was going to move my car and I headed out to the parking lot.


It looked like this, but no rock.

I had laser focus on my car and my sole and only purpose was to make sure my car didn’t get towed. My true purpose should have been on watching where I was walking because the sidewalk I was walking on ended at a curb, which I did not realize. I figured it out really quickly when I found myself falling into thin air (a whole 4 inches into thin air).

It was one of those moments where time slowed down and knew immediately that when I landed it was going to be bad. I was right. When I landed, I landed smack dab on top of my right ankle, which rolled in the process.

Of course I fell in front of people (because why keep my personal shame to myself?), and there was a VERY long duration where no one moved. I hoped to God that I just sprained it really badly but when I tried to get up it was clear that I had a problem. Finally, one of the people who witnessed my folly helped me up and another person went and moved my car for me.

Let me say now: going shock is a useful trick the body pulls.

Despite my ankle looking like THIS right after I fell, I was able to limp back inside, wish my friend goodbye, and then DROVE MYSELF HOME (I was a mile away from my house). I did this by pressing my foot down on the pedals by lifting my leg at the knee and moving that way versus moving the ankle.

I got home and did what any grown ass adult does: I called my mom.

Of course, that specific afternoon, Mamala was at the movies and her ringer was off. I sent her a text too. After 10 minutes I decided to do the next best thing: I DROVE MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL using the same method I used to get myself home. Before doing so, I wrapped my ankle in an ace bandage as tightly as I could to stabilize it.

Not going to lie: I don’t remember a whole lot between leaving my house and getting to the hospital. I do remember the parking lot being very very very far away. I got to the reception desk to check in and then and only then did all the pain kick in. I think my body realized I was in the right place and then the adrenaline wore off. Which apparently is actually how going to shock works. Fascinating!

Mom met me at the ER and promptly yelled at me for driving myself to the ER and not waiting for her or calling 911. I told her there was no way, I was going to take an ambulance for a possibly broken ankle when there are truly sick and injured people out there. Later someone asked me why I didn’t take a Lyft or Uber and that thought never entered my mind. I would later find out from one of my many many many Lyft drivers that they actually aren’t able to take people to the hospital in emergency situations due to liabilities, which makes sense.

Turns out I didn’t break-break my ankle. I fractured the talus. And I somehow didn’t tear any ligaments or tendons. Just sprained them. I was in a boot for 8 weeks and on a knee scooter (please take a moment to visually picture that) and a brace for a month and started on steroid injections. The injections were supposed to provide relief for up to two years. Turns out the lasted a shorter than anticipated. I have a noticeable limp and am in pain. But the good news is I also still have my back issues. So more often than not I am in pain. But it is what it is. I’m still grateful for everything I have.

Anyway, as you can tell from the whole me driving myself home and to the hospital, I’m not exactly one who is good at accepting help and I sure as heck don’t ask for help. Whether it’s because I am a first-born, or a Virgo, or a classic “Type A” personality, I have this innate drive to do everything myself.

I bet you’re expecting me to say this whole broken ankle thing taught me to ask for and accept help. Well, to that I say HA FRICKIN' HA! Being dependent on people was not easy for me. I didn’t learn any life lessons from this ordeal. What I learned is that y’all don’t do things the way I do - and my way is so much better!!!!! Just kidding. Sort of. #controlfreak

But in all seriousness I appreciate all of the help I got from people and I truly don’t know what I would have done without the support I got. Biggest shout out goes to Mom of course. She was my rock as usual. There isn’t anything I can say here that I haven’t said before. It’s safe to say my mom is better than your mom.

And that is how I spent my spring.

My summer was spent recuperating and complaining and sweating.

And then life got interesting in the fall.

If you’ve read these blogs for any amount of time, you know I’m a victim of online dating. I say victim because online dating is horrific. Most of the times. But sometimes - just sometimes - it’s frickin’ awesome.

Updated At Some Point in 2020 to Remove References to the Ex!!

Another new addition to my life is a semi-monthly Cousins Night.

I come from a large annoying loving family. There are a LOT of cousins (something like 16 of us). Unfortunately, our family unexpectedly lost our eldest cousin Deb this year. Deb’s immediate family lost a daughter and sister. The extended family lost a niece and cousin. It was a sad reminder that our generation is getting older than any of us care to admit. Three of my cousins and I have been getting together once every other month or so for random events. Generally, those events have involved drag queens (much to 75% of our group’s delight).

If you’re still reading this, kudos to you! What a trooper! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my error-filled silly stories about my silly random life. I hear from a few of you once a year through this blog and that along makes it worth it!

I hope that 2020 brings you joy, peace, and blessings! Be good to one another!

Here's hoping you all have as much fun in 2020 as my HLM and I do on a Saturday afternoon!

Friday, November 23, 2018

2018 Holiday Letter

Generic Holiday Greeting to my family, friends, and random creepers!

After last year’s change in format, we are back to our regularly scheduled holiday letter full of snark, sassiness and hopefully some entertainment just like you like it.

If you couldn’t tell from last year’s letter, 2017 wasn’t a banner year. I’d like to say 2018 treated me better but I’d be lying. It wasn’t all bad, just not full of super exciting fun times like I hoped it would be.

Unfortunately the bulk of 2018 was spent on my health and hardly any of it was related to my back!

In late spring/early summer I started getting sick to the point of vomiting daily.

No, it wasn’t morning sickness. Because unless a certain higher power chose me to be the blessed vessel for His return, that wasn’t even possible. I can’t tell you how many times people made that joke.

After a battery of tests, tons of appointments, and a really expensive nap that involved a tube going down my esophagus while I was sleeping, it was determined that the nausea and vomiting might have been caused by gastritis and GERD or it may have been caused by some medication interactions. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It was - and continues to be - frustrating to not know the cause is this. So knowing it was maybe a couple of things I made some big changes. I stopped all medications I was taking (with doctor’s approval and guidance) and I made some dietary changes. Specifically I gave up my two favorite food groups: Diet Coke and gluten.

I gave up caffeine because the stomach doctor said that could irritate my stomach. I found out that giving up my drink of choice for 20 years was slightly irritating in itself. Thankfully the good people at Coca Cola makes Caffeine Free Diet Coke and I may be the only person I know who drinks it but it made the switch a lot easier.

I gave up gluten because one of the medications I gave up with my anti-inflammatory meds (ibuprofen) which I took multiple times a day for my back, and in my research on fighting inflammation naturally I read in a couple of places that giving up gluten helps. I'm sure the chemicals in the Caffeine Free Diet Coke offset any good that may do, but it's something.

I can’t say any of this stuff is working, but I can say it’s kind of maybe sort of helping...? I’m not throwing up daily! Yay! Instead it’s just like once every couple of weeks. Yay?

But being sick for months on end was awful. Still getting sick just not as often so sucks. Not knowing why is the worst part of all of it, but even with all that said it’s tolerable. There are plenty out there who are in much worse situations and complaining a whole lot less than my lucky ass!

But like I said: it wasn’t all bad.

In fact like many years gone by, I tried to start the New Year on a good note. And I did it by NOT poisoning my family.

If you’ve known me for any amount of time, you are very likely aware that I have not been #blessed with skills in the kitchen. I can’t cook. In fact, I have photographic evidence proving it.

Luckily I do have a couple of recipes that I can’t mess up too badly. I whipped them all out and hosted a New Year’s brunch for my DNA-sharers. It was obviously a blast. But how could it not be when you have such a fabulous family? I mean look at all this fabulousness. It’s almost too much to handle!

That's a whole lot of awesome in one picture.

The following month, I joined my amiga Stephanie at a beer festival in downtown Phoenix and we had so much drunken fun! In addition to getting punk in drublic, I ended up meeting someone. He was tall, silent and had a beard (one of my favorite things on a man’s face!). Sadly just like all the rest, he was full of hot air and had no substance. At least we looked good together.

Steph and I modeling the hottest snack necklaces on the market.

Just like all the rest, he was full of hot air.

A month or so later, my bestie of a million years made it to town with her amazing husband and brilliant daughter. Nanna and I have been best friends since we graced the halls of Andersen Junior High. Nanna and her family live in Denver so we don’t get a lot of face time together, but when we do get to see each other I can’t help but being filled with happiness and love.

With an entire day to spend together, I joined my bestie and her family for a day at the zoo. We had so much fun and it was so fun experiencing it with my friend’s brilliant daughter. That child is going to do great things in this world, and she’s going to be an amazing big sister to her baby brother when he joins this world early next year!

A couple of goddesses, a junior goddess, and my bra strap.

This holiday letter wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t tell you about some of the shenanigans that I got into with my hetero life mate Suzy Q. One of our first was to go see a downright hilarious stand up comedian named Fortune Feimster. I’ve followed Fortune for years and to be able to see her in person was so great. The opening act left something to be desired (as in that something missing was anything to laugh at) but it was worth it because Fortune cracked us up. And we got to meet her afterwards and she was just too sweet.

Three Hilarious Women, 1 Picture.

A month or so after meeting our new friend Fortune, Sue and I decided to treat our old friends to a night of southern fun. She and I learned that a couple of our nearest and dearests hadn’t seen one of the best movies ever made: Steel Magnolias. Steel Magnolias has always been one of my favorite movies and Sue has impeccable taste and shares my love of this movie. We’ve been quoting the movie to each other since freshman year at NAU. Sue and I can tend to be extra and it stands to reason that we would have a movie night that was just a like us: extra. Extra over the top. Extra pink. Extra amazing. Our evening featured a finely curated feast of red beans and rice, jambalaya, orange juice flavored champagne (in other words: mimosas that were light on the OJ), and a bleedin armadillo cake. The menu isn’t as random as it sounds. Each of these menu items had something to do with the movie, I promise.

Bleedin' Armadillo Cake

Another month or so after that, Sue and I decided to keep it classy and go to the ballet at the Desert Botanical Garden. I misread and thought we were going to a very special ballet, but it turns out the title was Eroica - not erotica. I’m not saying I was disappointed but was definitely excited to see people dancing to dirty stories surrounded by plants. As it was we got to see talented performers dance in a beautiful (albeit hot) setting. Beforehand we walked around the Garden and found our natural habitat.

Just where we belong.

When I wasn’t puking or watching the arts, I was getting artsy-fartsy in my own right. I friggin love arts and crafts. Some people have home offices. I have a home craft room. And there’s a computer somewhere in there too. Now that I have my amazing house, I get to craft anytime I want and use the fruits of my labor as decorations. Some of my finished projects include chalk painting some side tables for my family room and re-purposing some old fashioned keys that my dad gave to me - all of which used to belong to my grandpa.

It's called art, sweetie. Look it up.

The best part of making your own home decor items is that they match your aesthetic perfectly!

In addition to getting crafty, I took a drawing class at the arts center down the street from me. I’ve always been a doodler. I love to doodle. Because I’m a natural at doodling, I’ve never had to take a class. Drawing is completely different and I’m less of a natural at that. So I took the class. I can’t say any of these are “good” because they’re not, but at least they look like what they were supposed to look like (a pineapple styled like it was drawn by The Simpson’s, the profile of a woman with a terrible hairstyle, a parrot with a noticeably small cranium, a drawing of a picture of an angel).

I’d like to say I started exercising in earnest this year. I’d like to say I received a message from heaven to start exercising and got off my ass. But I can’t. Instead I can say I got a message and returned it to sender.

Yes. That is a trampoline in my backyard. No that is not MY trampoline. You see, instead of the single men and/or money I’ve always hoped for, exercise equipment fell from the sky and landed in my ~~lap~~ backyard. During one of the monsoons, Buster and I were standing and the backdoor watching the sky. The wind lifted my kitty-corner neighbor’s trampoline into the air and it sailed over the fence and into my yard. As I watched it make is surprisingly graceful arc across the yards I chanted “don’t-land-in-my-yard-don’t-land-in-my-yard-don’t-land-in-my-yard-don’t-land-in-my-yard-don’t-land-in-my-yard-don’t-land-in-my-yard-OH DAMMIT-bwahahahahahahaha.”

No. I didn’t keep it. Despite so many of my scumbag friends who wanted me to keep it. (What is wrong with you people!??) Of course I did the right thing and contacted my neighbors. I left a note on their door and everything.

When writing notes to neighbors you've never met, it's always nice to be as serious as possible.

The young men (too young for me) who came to pick it up were very gracious and thankful. Watching them nimbly hoist this awkward thing up and over the fence I realized I am officially old. I spent the whole time worried they were going to hurt themselves and that they didn’t have enough light to see what they were doing. The coups des gras of the whole event was when the chief young man popped his head back over the fence one last time and said “It was really nice meeting you tonight. I hope it isn’t under such strange circumstances next time.”

The fall brought about a couple changes. The first thing that changes was my age. Mom and I had an abbreviated, stressful, sweltering weekend in San Diego to celebrate (??) and I was sick the whole time.

The other thing that changed was My head area. I cut and dyed my hair (ok I didn’t. Priscilla did and she’s amazing) and changed out my specs.

The fall also brought me my very own movie moment. By movie moment I mean I was in a situation that was so bizarre/cliche/satisfying that it was as if someone wrote it to be featured in a movie.

Once upon 19 years ago, high school senior Amanda had a crush on a boy. That boy took her out on a date. That boy wasn’t very nice. Amanda was sad. But got over it about 18 years and 11 1/2 months ago. Amanda never held ill will towards that boy - and never really thought about that boy for 18 years and 11 1/2 months. Until one damned day...

I decided to go do one of those drinking and painting things with my good friend from high school. I was of course running early and decided to peruse an online dating app on my phone. This one is based on geographic area and since I was in a different part of town than usual, I thought I'd see what kind of dudes showed up.

I was swiping away and came across a profile of a guy who said he was from Chandler High class of 1999 (stay tuned next year for me to tell you about our 20 year reunion that I won't be going to!).

While our high school was large, and as much as I have tried to block all memories from it, I feel like I would still recognize people I graduated with. This dude looked familiar, but I looked at his first name and I only knew exactly one dude by that name - I had had a crush on that dude - and it didn't exactly look like the way I remembered him. I swiped right anyway because why the hell not. We matched and I sent an innocuous message (this app requires the woman send the first message) which said, "CHS class of 1999? Prove it."

Kaci showed up by this point and we proceeded to paint and laugh and not follow directions. When we were done, I checked my phone and saw that the dude had responded with a picture of a whole bunch of our high school newspapers. Pretty good proof. Kaci provided me a picture from our class's reunion Facebook page (which I just so happened to not be on - Facebook or the page) and I sent it back and said something like good proof. Here's mine. It was a picture from a main stage performance (DRAMA DORKS FOR LYFE!) and I gave details and waited to hear back. I didn't hear anything for a day or two so I responded and well, just read below...

I sent a quick note that said I was running into a meeting and I'd reply shortly there after. But because work is bananas more often than not, I wasn't able to respond quicker. And then he sent this.

If this were a movie, I'd tell you that we met up and romance sparkled and we ended up together.

But it’s not. Beyond a few more messages between us just clearing the air a little more, this is the end of the story but it’s an almost unbelievable story. The kind of crap you’d see in a movie. Even thought it didn’t involve a date, since I got to experience this movie moment thanks to the app, I consider this to be the highlight of my 2018 dating experiences.

With that said, as I write this, I'm still on the damned app so maybe something will happen between now and the end of the year and that will be the true highlight. But let's be real... Whatever happens will be entertaining to say the least.

And with that I close out the year. These have been the most humorous/I look good in the picture that goes with the story/high points of the year, but definitely not all. Just a few of the more entertaining moments.

I don’t know what 2019 holds in store for me. I’m hoping for less vomit and more movie moments - but for maybe more than a moment at a time.

Happy holidays and happy new year, all. May 2019 be our best yet!