YOU GUYS! 2020 IS ALMOST OVER!!!
Between catastrophic wildfires around the globe, the social unrest and revolution that is occurring here in the US, the worldwide pandemic, economic hits, and the most important presidential election in my lifetime, 2020 was one for the history books.
As in, what we endured, how we responded, what happened afterwards... All of this will be in history books. We’re surviving historic times… Yay?
Join me as I distract you from the world for a few minutes and tell you about my year.
In early 2020, I left the City of Glendale - my work home for 5 (!!!!) years - to join the City of Tempe. I described this new role as "leveling up" in my career and in my professionalism. As a result, I have far fewer hilarious work stories since I now have to be a real professional and model the behavior I expect of my coworkers. I have to act like a grown up at work all the time now (not just most of the time like earlier in my career). It’s exhausting! Kidding. Sort of.
At this moment in time, I’m doing double duty (two jobs, one Amanda) because
of a key vacancy in the Division I get to lead - which left me
hamstrung very early in my time in the new job. I have been doing
double duty since this spring. Frankly it’s exhausting, but I’m doing
what I love, so it’s rewarding.
I’m still living in Moon Valley, in North Phoenix and, to be honest, the desire to move does not live anywhere in my soul at this time. At all. I’m commuting, which takes about as much time as my previous commute to the West Valley, and will continue to do so for the immediate future.
As I leveled up, got hamstrung, and started doing double duty, the world got very scary – and sick.
COVID-19 is very scary. Like, literally, the scariest thing we’ve ever lived through. And we’re still living with it. I’m not going to devote too much to the subject because it’s very upsetting for some – and I am not interested in debating with those who feel differently than me. I will simply say: I’m safe, my loved ones are safe, and I continue to hold space in my heart for those we knew who lost their lives. I pray COVID-19 is eradicated soon and that no more lives are lost to this very scary, very real threat.
And since I have your attention, allow me to get on my soapbox about the Essential Employees who I hold of the highest esteem: public works employees.
Employees in public works support our critical infrastructure; they ensure health and safety of the community, and they show up everyday. Rain or shine. In sickness and in health.
I have always been impressed beyond belief to witness the dedication public works employees devote to the communities they serve in everyday normal circumstances. The fact that during an unprecedented global epidemic we all had safe and reliable drinking water, continuous energy, solid waste & sanitation services, streets that were lit by streetlights every evening, and countless other things that we all don't conscious think of shows the dedication public works employees have to those they serve.
If any one of those things I listed above had failed, it would have compounded the stress people are already under. And they didn't fail. So, take a moment and think about the invisible heroes who make sure your community continues to be a source of reliability and comfort, and hold space in your heart for them and their continued health and safety.
(Steps off Soapbox)
Last year I wrote about a relationship. Yeah, well, that didn’t work out. (And yes I totally went back and deleted all references to that relationship from last year's letter!!!)
Forgive me if I don’t sound too broken up (heh) over it. My mourning of that relationship has long ended. I acknowledge we were mismatched from the start.
I will also acknowledge to those who said it: you were right.
The yous I’m talking to know who they are and what they were right about. Beyond that, that particular relationship is not worth talking about.
What is worth talking about is what I walked away with as a result of that relationship! I walked away with so much knowledge about myself and what I deserve in a relationship. I learned to embrace my self-worth and demand nothing less than the best for me. Insert cliché about having to learn to love yourself before you can receive the love you deserve being true. More on that later.
I’ve always been a crafter. I love making beautiful things with my hands. I also love making not beautiful things with my hands. If I’m using my hands to attempt to make something pretty, I am happy. I may not be happy with the results, but the act is what makes me happy. When I was newly single during the quarantine, I realized I needed to do something to occupy the excess time I had to myself. As a crafter, this was my time to shine. And by time to shine, I mean time to work off my excess anxiety.
This spring I took up acrylic landscape painting. Turns out I do not suck entirely at painting landscapes. It also turns out I do most definitely suck at painting anything other than flora and fauna. I've even set up another Instagram account to show all my crafty stuff. More pics are there.
In my welcome to middle-aged gift basket from mother nature, I found that my ankles hate me. They BOTH require surgery (arthroscopic cleaning of scar tissue and resurfacing of the talus through micro fracturing). Despite breaking the right one a couple of years ago, the left one is in worse shape. Early next year I’ll be rolling with my trusty knee scooter once again for a couple months as I heal from my first of two surgeries. I will heal from that surgery and then early the following year I am penciled in for the other ankle. You can imagine what this is doing for my back. Chronic pain can kiss my luscious booty.
Speaking of middle-aged! Just like everybody else who is living, I had a birthday this year. This was a milestone birthday year for me. In my world, birthdays are always marked with something significant (a tattoo on my 18th birthday which Mom and Dad loved [spoiler alert: no they didn’t], a new car for my 28th birthday that was paid off on my 33rd, countless trips to Washington and California for birthdays, etc.). This milestone birthday was going to be treated the same way.
My original plan for my 40th birthday was to take myself to Australia. I was going to do all the touristy stuff and make my way to as many places around that continent as possible (Sydney, the Gold Coast, Byron Bay, etc.). In January of this year, Australia suffered horrific fires over so much of their country. Knowing their country would be healing and recovering from the fires, I decided to put Australia back on the bucket list and go to Ireland and the UK to go see where my ancestors are from.
And then the world got sick.
I stopped planning on leaving the country once the pandemic hit, and instead turned my attention to coming up with an absolutely epic way to mark my 40th birthday.
And epic it was.
I decided to treat myself to a professional photo shoot to celebrate me. I had seen Karianne Munstead’s work on Instagram several years ago and I started following her then. Her photos were not just beautiful; everything that Karianne does is to make someone feel beautiful in the skin they’re in. Her photos are authentic and really allow the subject’s personality shine through. She was literally my only choice for the photo shoot. I told Karianne if I walked away with one picture that showed parts of my personality (powerful, sexy, hilarious), then I would be happy. Turns out there were about 100+ of those kinds of pictures! I walked away with 15+ pictures in total!
In regards to the picture, I had a very specific picture in mind, and Karianne was able to make that happen. Feast your eyes on the perfect picture for my 40th birthday in 2020.
I know. You’re impressed. You’re speechless. You’re laughing. Even if you’ve already seen it. Because you know that is sooooooooooooooooo… me.
I thought I would post many of the other pictures from the shoot to show people on my personal Instagram, but I’ve been savoring them and sharing them with only a handful of people live in person. Not for any reason other than they’re so special and I want to keep them to myself for now. But! I did promise someone I would post one a pictures here exclusively - only for my readers and random internet people! So here you go.
Seriously, though. Could this picture be any better? No. No it could not.
You remember when I said there would be more later on the love yourself before you can receive the love you deserve being true cliché? It’s now later.
Last year when I turned 39, I didn’t like where I was in my life. I said then I had 365 days until I was 40, which meant I had 365 days to transform my life. I can safely admit that my 39th year on Earth was the year I experienced the most amount of personal (and professional) growth. From the general craziness of 2020 to the ending of an unhealthy, unequal relationship in the spring, and the very conscious effort I made to change my life through actually doing the work, my life is definitely transformed for the better. I have leveled up in my career. I know and feel every ounce of my self-worth. I am mindful of what I can and cannot control. I decide who and what gets my emotional energy. And I’m in an actually healthy relationship. Go back and re-read that last sentence, because it’s awesome.
Of course, it would take a worldwide pandemic where people are getting sick simply by being around other people for me to find my sweet spot in the world of online dating. Having virtual first dates is exactly what I didn’t know was missing from my dating life!! Granted I was only able to go on a couple of virtual first dates (like literally two) before I started having second, third, fourth, etc. dates with someone in particular.
I’ve lost count of dates we’ve had so far, but our dates have gone from virtual, to sweat-soaked brunches outside in the August heat (in the middle of a desert) with masks on before the food came, to us being in a healthy committed relationship.
Speaking of commitment, I’m committed to sharing less of my relationship with others (another handy tidbit I learned from my previous relationship), so I will just leave it at I am very happy in this relationship and I look forward to continuing to enjoy our time together.
So. About the elections.
Y’all knew I was going to bring it up. And y'all knew who I was voting for before I even brought it up. But with that said, I’m undeniably happy that my chosen candidate was elected. I really truly honestly hope that the next 8 years of the Biden-Harris administration will bring peace and reunification of our country. There is a lot of hatred and hurts that came to a boil over the last four years and it will take time to heal. I think if we all remain level-headed, use critical thinking skills, and give respect to our fellow humans and to our Earth, our country and the world can be better than we’ve been.
So with that said, I wish you all a peaceful rest of 2020, and a wonderful 2021.
Much love to most of you!
XOXOXXX,
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