2015 Holiday Letter

Happy End of 2015 Holidays, Family, Friends, and Stalkers! 

2015 is just about over and I've lived to tell about it - and you've lived to read about it. Buckle up! Snarky, silly stories await you!

This year began with preparing for my good friends' Ryan and Kristina wedding. Those silly fools thought it would be a good idea to have me perform their ceremony and since I had some experience, I gladly agreed. Despite the rain that day, the ceremony held at The Windmill Winery in Florence (Arizona, not Italy - and not at the prison) was beautiful. No, seriously. It was beautiful. Look:
 

Sure, driving home hungover from Florence the next day which happened to be the one day there was dense fog in Arizona was a challenge - but it was worth it.

A couple of weeks later, I did the unthinkable. I stopped being an East Valley girl... I moved.

After 30 years of living in the East Valley, I moved to north Phoenix in order to be closer to work. I like to say I am Paradise Valley-adjacent, but in reality I live in Moon Valley - a part of the Valley I never knew existed. I found an amazing apartment complex just north of Lookout Mountain, close to a golf course. I have a stunning view of a parking lot, and I love it.

Living so close to a mountain preserve has been rather fascinating for this city girl. I am regularly greeted by bunnies when I come home, I've seen real live coyotes walking down the street, and I got face-to-face with an adorable baby owl and did NOT get my face ripped off.

Shortly after making the move, I went ghost hunting. In argyle socks.

If you've been reading my letters for a while, you know that adventures are best had in argyle socks, and for this year's Argyle Sock Adventure, Sue and I went down to Bisbee with our good friend from college, Cheryl. Cheryl lived in the same dorm as us freshman year at NAU and the lucky girl hasn't been able to get rid of us since!

Cheryl lives in Austin and made a special trip to Arizona to see us - and other people who aren't us but this isn't about them, so they don't count. Since she was coming to see us, Sue and I knew we needed to plan a special Argyle Sock Adventure, so we planned a weekend trip down to Bisbee, Arizona, which included staying in a haunted hotel, going on a ghost hunt, and drinking. We had a blast and if there was one picture that could best describe our trip, it would be this one: 

 
In addition to Bisbee, I got some other trips in this year and it was great to travel again.

In late July, my mom and I went to go visit her baby sister Nancy and Nancy's husband Mike in Washington state.  If I've said it before, I've said it a million times, my heart belongs to the Pacific Northwest.  We spent a few days on and around the Key Peninsula but the best day for me was the day we spent in downtown Seattle.  It was quite literally the perfect day.  We went to Chihuly Garden and Glass, the Space Needle, the Seattle Center, the International Fountain, and Westlake Center - but the best part was when Mom and I walked down to Pike Place Market - IN THE RAIN!

It started raining right after this picture was taken!

I kept saying that if I got to walk to Pike Place Market in the rain then my trip would be perfect.  I got to do just that and it was.  We spent another day in Port Townsend which was just as wonderful.  The most peaceful part of the trip though was sitting on my aunt and uncle's lake.  Okay, it's not just their lake, but since they live off of it, we're calling it theirs.  I got to meet their friend Chester the goose and feed the flock of ducks that come twice a day for their bread.  I saw a family of raccoons and some beautiful eagles and seahawks (not the football players - the actual birds).  It was a wonderful visit.

I took a flight from Seattle and went straight to Atlanta to visit my friends Mina and Daniel.  (Yes, I fit two vacations in one.)  I friggin' adore Mina and I'd never been to Atlanta before, so it was a fabulous reason to visit!  My first night there they took me to church, and over the next few days, Mina showed me around Atlanta and introduced me to her amazing friends there.

Mina and I spent a day playing tourist and we went to the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and the Martin Luther King, Junior National Historic Park.  I've never considered myself a history buff, but being there surrounded by so much history and culture, one can't help but soak it all in.

A word of warning: unless you want to lose several - nay many - hours, you probably don't want to take me to a Democrat presidential library.  I think I read virtually every word on every display in the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library.  I had always admired Jimmy Carter, but I learned so much more about him and the work he's done from that visit.  I'd never been to a presidential library, and I would love to go to other presidential libraries in the future - as long as those presidents are Democrats!!!

The Martin Luther King, Junior National Historic Park was so poignant.  The impact he had not just on our country but on the world is hard to put into word and seeing the exhibits was inspiring.  We went and toured his birth home as well as the Historic Ebenezer Baptist Church.  I literally got goosebumps sitting in the church.  It truly was an awe inspiring experience.

My trip to Atlanta ended just like everybody eles's: at a drag show gospel brunch.  Mina, Daniel, me, and a few of their friends enjoyed some downright terrible food and some truly striking drag queens perform gospels on a Sunday morning.  It was wonderful and I had a blast.
 
I really did not get to see enough while I was in Atlanta.  I mean, I didn't even make it to World of Coca-Cola and we all know about my Diet Coke addiction.  So, obviously, I need to go back.  And soon.

I took a few weeks to rest and recuperate and then I decided to test the limits of my liver's regenerative powers by going to Vegas with my girlfriends, Monica and Brittany.  Lord Almighty, test it I did.  There is a reason I hadn't been back to Vegas since 2009.  The human body is not made to withstand that much alcohol, that much decadent food, and that little sleep but once every six years or so.   I want to say I behaved, but there was an incident where I was repeatedly yelling to Monica about a rather ugly baby apparently in front its parents.  In my defense: alcohol.

We were sad she wasn't with us.

Our dearly beloved Haley was supposed to join us on that trip, but that just so happened to be the weekend she moved.  But she was never far from our thoughts.  This I know because I spent 25% of that month's data plan drunkenly communicating with her over three days either through FaceTime calls, texts, picture messages, Facebook updates, or Instagram posts.

In November, I managed to erase one of my biggest shames by going on a day trip. I finally made it to the Grand Canyon. Yes. This life long Arizonan, who lived in Flagstaff for five years, had never been to the Grand Canyon. When Monica found out, she basically grabbed me by the arm, put me in the truck and headed north - and I am SO glad she did. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I burst into tears when I finally saw the Grand Canyon. Its beauty really did make me cry. But then again, I may have been hormonal. Regardless, it was spectacular and fun -- and I will be going back.
 
My final trip of the year was to San Diego with Mamala for Thanksgiving.  We stayed on Mission Bay and it was stunning.  We spent a rainy day on Mission Beach, a lovely morning at La Jolla cove, got lost in Point Loma, brunched at the Hotel del Coronado, spent another day at at Mission Beach and basically loved every minute of it.

As for work, as you probably know, I've been a full time municipal employee for the better part of a decade (8 years to be exact).  Up until this year, no one had let me drive a piece of equipment (City of Mesa bosses, I'm looking at you!).  Sure, my lack of coordination and over-zealousness/over-excitement may have scared any normal human being, but my current employer, City of Glendale, decided to live dangerously and LET ME DRIVE A BACKHOE! 

It was everything I thought it would be and more.  I don't want to brag, but I'll have you know that I did not break anything or run anyone over.  So, basically, I'm a natural.  As if that wasn't mind-blowing enough, I also got to operate a jackhammer and giggled entirely too much the whole time I was ripping up a street. 

In all seriousness, the crew that let me harass them for a day was great and they took immense pride in their work.  I loved it and my respect for the work my department does grew even more after that day.

My Favorite Management Tool

I can't believe I've been with Glendale for over a year now.  That time really has flown by.  Thankfully, my new coworkers are finally getting used to my personality/sense of humor.  I told a former City of Mesa coworker that my new coworkers didn't know what to think of me when I got there, and his response was pretty on point.  He said, "Well, you do take some getting used to."  Touché, sir.  Touché.  

Even though it took them a little bit of time to get used to my personality, it didn't take them long to learn the important stuff.  Please see the picture my favorite management tool. 

When I wasn't making a fool of myself across the country, or kicking butt and taking names at work, I managed to make it to a couple of concerts. 

The first was to see my newest unattainable (for a few reasons) crush, Sam Smith.  The first time I heard his song Lay Me Down, I had to lie down in the fetal position for a few hours until all the feels went away.  The second was literally a bucket list item for me.

I think every music fan has a list of artists they'd like to see play live one day.  Up until this year, I had seen all but one on my list.  On October 17, I finally got to see Garth Brooks in concert!  

I'm not a country music fan in general, but I am a Garth Brooks fan and have been for 2/3s of my life.  Ropin' the Wind was the first CD I received and I know virtually all of his songs by heart.  When I found out he was going to play in Phoenix, I knew I would be going.  Thanks to my friend John, I got AMAZING seats and my cousin Erika and I got to go to the best concert of our lives.  Garth really did put on a phenomenal show and he is a true performer.

As for other stuff in my life, my back is still all sorts of messed up.  I took a year off from any sort of medical intervention with the exception of acupuncture since I didn't seem to be getting anywhere with the doctors I had been seeing.  Unfortunately, late this year, I started to experience a whole new level of pain and I'm having to start all over again with the doctors to determine what is happening.  I don't really know what to expect but I sure would like to not be in pain all the time.

I managed not to get my heart broken - or even bruised - this year.  But that was by my own design.  I tried online dating AGAIN this year and, holy PTSD, Batman!

Not only did I find a handful of losers to waste first dates on, I managed to go on THE most disturbing first date I'd ever been on (which required me to take back roads after I left the date just in case he was following me).  

And as if that wasn't enough fun, I came across not one but TWO of my exes' profiles on TWO different sites.  Needless to say, my reaction was a little something like this:

A completely reasonable response, in my humble opinion.

I keep threatening that I am done with online dating and will never go back online to find my lobster, but when people ask me how else am I going to meet someone, the only answer I can come up with is: F$%k if I know.  Sooo... Unless The Secret starts working right-quick, I don't know if I have many other options. 

 Luckily, I have the crazy cat lady stereotype to live up to in the meantime.  I think I'm well on my way now that Sinatra has his own Instagram account, written from his point of view.

So, that's my year in a blog post.

I hope you are all happy, healthy, and well! 

Come back after new year and see if I did my amazing moments like I did last year!